C.H.R.I.S.T.I.N.E.

The day chilled cold. The day slinged wet.
The sky above seemed to hold some distant threat.
The wind attacked and inverted my poor umbrella.
I like raw bacon so maybe I'll get salmonella.

Today was dreary, but that's okay. I was inside the shop with the furnace chugging away, and barely anyone came in. I think I had maybe four people wander in all day, one of which was Dave the Bank Robber, so I talked to him for a little bit. He's looking a little more filled out since he's smoking less crack than usual, and he wasn't even high today. Apparently he's doing his grade 11/grade 12 right now and is learning to add and subtract fractions. He even has a new cell phone. It's slightly cooler than mine, I'm jealous.

I finally put a headlight and taillight on my bike, and took it for a test drive last night. I don't know what the hell people are saying about how you never forget how to ride a bike once you've learned. Well, it's not like I'd forgotten, but I must say I'm a very crappy bike rider. I'm also a crappy pedestrian. I'm just not good at getting anywhere. I think the world is trying to tell me something - I was supposed to be born in the age of teleportation and high-speed autopilot sky pods. But even then something might fuck up (Brundle-fly!).

Eclipse!

The aforementioned keyboard has been obtained. I am using it to type this. I am very satisfied with its appearance and performance. The board itself is black, the keys are silver, and the lettering as well as spaces in between keys are backlit by a decidedly Satanic-looking shade of red LED light - excellent.

This is the one I've got, except mine is the "special edition" because it's red instead of blue.

This cafeteria food has made me ill.
I have a fever and substantial chills.
My stomach roils and sickly heart doth quicken
For verily I've eaten poisoned chicken.

Seriously. I don't know why I bowed down and paid six-bucks-and-something for some soggier-than-usual fries and a grilled chicken burger that was all bun, watery lettuce shreds, and precious little chicken, which as I mentioned, was most likely poisoned. Actually, wait, I do know. I'd been at school for a long time, I was tired and ravenous and I had a three hour Anthropology night class which I had to devote some brain cells to - therefore, I needed fuel. But POISONED FUEL? come on! What have I ever done to the employees of the student's union food services? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I am rewarded with a headache, fever, chills, and a stomach full of rotten chyme!

However, even as I sweat and shiver and curse and dread making an offer of some maldigested chicken to the Porcelain God, I have some things to be glad about. Tomorrow, between the hours of 8 and 9, all units in my apartment building will be subject to "roach baiting". I'm not exactly sure what that entails, but if it gets rid of the bugs, I'm happy. It might also be a good time to mention the vermin living in the wall behind my stove. I can hear them pattering about and squeaking in my oven drawer when I kick it.

Another thing I have to be glad about is that tomorrow I may be acquiring an LED-backlit keyboard, which will facilitate typing in the dark and also look really fucking cool. Seventy bucks, but I've dropped more than that on things with considerably less function.